How To Change Your Beliefs About Yourself After Childhood Emotional Neglect

Changing deeply held beliefs about yourself after experiencing childhood emotional neglect involves gradually replacing limiting or negative beliefs with positive and supportive ones. These exercises are meant to be used consistently over time, as changing deeply ingrained beliefs requires ongoing practice and patience. You can also use these exercises with your therapist.

Exercise 1: Identifying Your Core Beliefs

Recognize and understand limiting beliefs formed during childhood.

Write down any negative statements you catch yourself saying about yourself, e.g., "I'm not good enough," "I don't matter," or "My feelings aren't important."

Reflect on each statement and ask, "Where might this belief have come from?"

Try to trace back to specific experiences or messages you received in childhood that relate to this belief.

Exercise 2: Reframing Negative Beliefs

Transform negative beliefs into empowering ones.

Take one belief you identified in the previous exercise. Ask yourself, "What is a more compassionate way to view this belief?" For example, "I don’t matter" might be reframed as "My feelings and experiences are just as important as anyone else’s."

Exercise 3: Emotional Validation Exercise

Reconnect with emotions and learn to validate them.

Set aside time each day to check in with yourself and name how you’re feeling without judgment (e.g., "I feel sad," "I feel anxious"). Remind yourself, "It’s okay to feel this way. My feelings are valid."