Finding A Therapist For Parenting After Childhood Trauma
The right therapist can help you process the past, navigate the present, and shape a healthier future for you and your child.
Becoming a parent after experiencing childhood trauma can feel overwhelming. You may be committed to doing things differently than your parents did, but you’re unsure how to build a foundation when no one modeled it for you. The right therapist can help you process the past, navigate the present, and shape a healthier future—for you and your child.
What to Look for in a Therapist
Specializes in Trauma-Informed Care
They should be trained in working with trauma and understand how it impacts nervous system regulation, relationships, identity, and parenting. Look for credentials like EMDR, somatic experiencing, or trauma-informed cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
They Understand the Challenges of Parenting After Trauma
The right therapist won’t just treat the past—they’ll help you understand how it shows up in your parenting. They should understand concepts like triggers, reparenting yourself, attachment styles, and the fear of repeating harmful cycles.
Respect Your Parenting Values and Approach
Ideally, they will support gentle, respectful, or cycle-breaking parenting approaches and help you parent in a way that makes sense for you and is rooted in current evidence.
Warm, Nonjudgmental, and Curious Attitude
You should feel emotionally safe and seen by this therapist. You may be working through trust issues, shame, or grief—this process should not feel harsh or rushed.Helps You Build Skills and Insight
In addition to processing trauma, you want someone who helps you build emotional regulation, communication, boundary-setting, and repair skills for parenting.
Questions to Ask During a Consultation
- Can you share a bit about your experience working with people who have childhood trauma?
- What modalities do you use to help parents who are survivors of childhood trauma?
- How do you support clients who are trying to parent differently than how they were raised?
- How do you help parents work through triggers or fear of becoming their parent?
- What’s your approach when a client struggles with self-blame or guilt?
- How do you balance discussing the past with helping someone in their current parenting challenges?
- Have you worked with adults who are raising children and are estranged from parents or grandparents? What is your philosophy?